Diary of a dumb kid ep1

Monday 6th August

Hi, and I am Matt and I am clever. 1+1 is of course equal to 1+1! I am the dumbest in my class! But I’m stillclever. Where ever I go my mam thinks I know everything. I’m in year 5! And I work on a 11+ year 1 practice book. It is very hard, but I got 10 out of 50. I started to get to the medium group on math and literacy and others except art because I am in the super duper looper whooper hard “NOT” group. I don’t know how clever I am when I got 1 out of 1000 in literacy, however I’m still proud. But you know what… this is just the beginning…

Tuesday 7th August

I always wish my mum stopped embracing me on the road. I really don’t want her embracing ME only. If this happens to me 20 times I shall hug her. Maybe that is the right level and very harsh… but it is she deserves it ha, ha, ha! My mam embrace me by singing a traditional or shall we call it OUT OF DATE or OUT OF FASHION song… I wish she did it to my useless sister Patricia because she never did it to her. The only thing is I keep on asking my dad what is the time but now I can’t speak because I ate an apple without permission… I was lucky I was not grounded for the week I mean the WHOLE week!

Wednesday 8th August

Today was not awesome… My mam sent me to summer school. It’s not fair because my sister is not going. I had a test to see how clever I am. Remember I said that I worked on a 11+ year 1 practice book but I am in year 5 so I did a year 4 practice book. I got in literacy 20 out of 40 and Math is 0 out of 1007

It’s a shame I got nothing for maths. I could have got 1+1 correct but it was 2. In literacy I got one thing % near to %100 correct because I said something different. This is the sheet of paper I had

Let’s go to space

Let’s go to mars

Let’s ________________________.

I wrote play today or whatever.  I guess that was super dumb. I was supposed to write go to ______ so I got it wrong.

Thursday 9th August

Today I made a song out of the poem about me!

This is my song

This is me.

By: Matt

I am Matt,

I am not fat.

I am not small,

I am kind of tall.

I’m wise,

But not all the time.

I am clever,

But sometimes never.

I’m Matt,

Don’t call me fat!

That is the best I can do. I can read your mind and it because mam said that I know everything! Dad said that eating battery is good for you and when I ate it I had an electric shock. I somehow survived that one but I was paralyzed and could not move… that was cool I mean… grr I have very good memory I mean uh… I wish I was reborn… but when I prayed to god I grew bigger… my wish came true I think. Or maybe not. My pa told me that I am always safe because my great gran pa, ma is watching me from heaven. I feel proud but I realised that all the people that died are watching me! And when I copied Max ( the most clever in my class ) in my spelling test I felt guilty and got 0 out of 10. But no worries I’m still CLEAVERISH. I want holiday every day. I started to think that rain is god sweating! I really wish I didn’t exist because I would be happy. I would be so sad if that happened. I think that makes sense. I to be honest don’t know how to spell happy. I and my family think that the word happy is rude. So I never knew how to spell happy at all… At least this diary is top secret. As usual so my idiot pig mam and snoring cow pa.

Friday 10th August

I had a word search in my bag.

It looks like this.




I found the word Matt which is my name in the word search but I found some random words inside as well like POO, LOO AND MEAT. I probably think it is all about me. I made a video game about cooking and ten seconds later it was a 2 star! Cool! I guess it just a pooing game but it is so popular right now “sort of.” I thought my pen is running out so this is the end of the diary for now. I will have to buy a new pen. So meet me in the next diary.

Meet me in Diary of a dumb kid ep2

The holiday escape.


Believe me, I’m a Londoner T-REX, I am six years old but thin as a big leafy tree. My hobbies are reading and playing with toys, especially my friend REXY, and also I like playing Lego.
I would like to share some of my favourite stories that I have written in Bubblebee, and I hope you find it funny. Please write some stories and share them to this website. I know all about dinosaurs and Jurassic world, that’s why in the future, I would like to write some more stories about dinosaurs.
Here are some of my favorite stories: Dino Cove, Roald Dahl and other dinosaur books!!! At school I am so so so so so good at maths, that why my teacher calls me a mathematician!! By the way, you can check out some of my videos on YouTube called ‘S.O.K Channel’. Enjoy ^_^

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